Hard Days

After 6 weeks away from work, I finally went back. I teach grade one. I actually went back the Friday before March Break to have a day to "get it over with". It was an ok day I guess. It was a combination of feeling like I might have the plague and feeling overwhelmed. My students were amazing and moved on so quickly. It was 20 minutes of catching me up on all their life events (lost teeth, trips and school work) then it was back to our old routine - like I never left. I came home exhausted and completely disorganized. Having a classroom is like owning a second house, and when you've had other people in caring for it, it is hard to find the most common items like a blue pen! The teachers who filled in we're fantastic and I know they love the kids as much as I do. I'm so thankful for that, but it took me a couple hours over March Break to feel I could find things in my classroom again.

Now my staff were absolutely amazing through my entire ordeal. They kept us well fed, prayed for and constant emails of concern. But being back in the building is tough. I feel like most people don't know what to say to me, or they only ask for help with some high tech problem. I really hate how this is now the "new me". I'm no longer the old me, I'm different and people really treat me like that. The hard part is that I'm overly sensitive to it and of course overly tired so it just makes everything worse. It is so exhausting trying to keep it together all day long. There were a few days I felt like things went well, but then it is right back to feeling awkward and sensitive.

Some days are going to be hard and Mack probably feels it too. I hope there are days when Mack will reach out, hold my hand and help me through. Cheers to a new me!